Movies

I see tons of movies, so I decided to review some of them. Please keep in mind that (obviously) I can only see movies that have been released in South Africa!

Ratings:

Sheer Brilliance
Very Good
Decent
Only if you have nothing better to do
Painful to watch

Upcoming Films:

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - 18 December 2002. The trailer (to be seen before Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets - reviewed below) reveals some of the story, which those who have read the book will quickly pick up on, although I have no idea where the Arwen bit goes, of course, but other than that, you can expect a 40 minute battle at Helm's Deep as well as talking trees, and the return of Gandalf. If you must know more, read the book!!

Recent Releases: (in SA)

James Bond: Die Another Day First of all, I am not a Bond fan. I don't even really like action films, but my friend dragged me to see this. I've only seen one other Bond film and it wasn't very impressive (it was The World Is Not Enough..) Anyway, fan or not, I'll give you some of my thoughts on the movie. It was 2 hours 40 mins long and it felt like it!! Long movies should not feel long, otherwise they're not doing their job. The movie consisted of lots of gadgets, some of which were actually kinda cool, lots of explosions, sword fights, hand-to-hand combat and variations of high speed car chases. By halfway through, I was under the impression that James Bond was some sort of indestructible man. The script was filled with puns, used several times, but only amusing the first few times, as well as countless innuendos, and although some people actually found these amusing, I just had to groan. As for the plot - what plot?! I found what storyline there was to be totally incomprehensible (and I'm usually good at following the story!) and I couldn't understand why Bond was after these villains and I kept waiting for someone to explain the whole diamond story and its link to the prologue bit in South Korea, but no one ever did so I still don't know really what was going on. All in all, I thought the movie was pitiful and I am convinced never to watch another Bond film. This was really for Bond fans, or perhaps also for fans of Halle Berry. 

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets I bought tickets for this two weeks in advance and after a long wait (12 months) I've finally seen it. The easiest way to review this would be first to compare it with Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (for some reason called the Sorcerer's Stone in the USA). This new film sticks even closer to the story set out in the book. Nothing of earth-shattering importance to the plot was omitted. The effects are much better (although I didn't think there was anything wrong with them last time), there's a lot more humour (in big parts thanks to Kenneth Brannaugh as Gilderoy Lockhart, the new Defense the Dark Arts teacher), there are new characters, such as Moaning Myrtle, Lucius Malfoy (even slimier than Snape), Colin Creevy and of course, Lockhart. As well as being funny, it's also quite serious. Most of the school believes Harry has opened the Chamber of Secrets and set a monster free. Obviously, the plot is explained a bit better in the book and the film. The really exciting parts are the action sequences. Much better than the first one in this respect (although I cannot find fault with the first movie), the action will have you on the edge of your seats for all 2 hours and 40 minutes. The Quidditch match will have you dodging Bludgers, and the trip to the Dark Forest will make your skin crawl (especially if you, like Ron (and me) do not like spiders). The tale is much darker than before, so the humour helps a lot. There seem to be conflicting views among those of us who have read the book. I found that having read the book 3 times didn't make much difference, as I was so engrossed in the film that I nearly forgot that I knew what was going to happen next. Others felt that the film was almost spoilt by the knowledge, BUT they still enjoyed it. Whether you like it more than the first film depends on personal taste, of course, but nevertheless, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is a must-see, whether you've read the books or not. 

Signs Since this is by the same director who gave us The Sixth Sense, you would expect a strange film full of unexpected turns (not ghosts though). It starts off with Mel Gibson as a priest who has lost his faith, struggling to keep his family together, when suddenly these giant crop circles appear in his fields. Without giving too much away (which makes it almost impossible to say anything at all), the story then raises various questions such as "Are they real?" or "Are they a hoax?" The audience experiences everything from the family's point of view, which makes it all more strange and creepy as you're never quite sure what you're seeing. Quite a weird movie, but worth a watch if you're wide awake and ready to look for the signs.

On The Line The movie has its moments (few and far between), but Lance Bass is a pretty lousy actor (though Joey Fatone isn't bad) and something about the concept of advertising to find a girl you met on a train and then going out with hundreds of other desperate women until you finally find her does not really evoke the kind of "aww, sweet" reaction commonly associated with such chick-flicks/romantic comedies. In fact, my reaction was closer to "That guy is an idiot". A must-see only for very serious fans of Lance Bass, since it's the only time when you get to see him for more than a few seconds onscreen. 

Not-so Recent Releases:
(Titles in green have a longer review on a separate page - click to read)

Road to Perdition Although this is a good movie, it didn't really appeal to me. I guess it's hard to relate to the father-son relationship if you are neither a father nor a son. Still, it's quite interesting and something a bit different, so worth a watch. 

Minority Report Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg make a killer combination. Great effects, realistic & futuristic technology, and a story that'll keep you guessing until the very last moment. 

Lilo & Stitch Disney's latest cartoon. Lilo is too cute for words and Stitch isn't far behind. Together they (unwittingly) wreak havoc in the Hawaiian setting for a touching story about a troubled family and the, er, pet that changes their lives, for better or worse. 

About A Boy Hugh Grant with a haircut? It's gotta be good. And it is. 

The Sum of All Fears A bit slow, but once it gets going, it's a real thriller.

Men In Black II Great humour, cool effects, reasonable story line. For a sequel - great!

The Mothman Prophecies Scarier than most, unusual and confusing, but not quite a horror.

Murder By Numbers Interesting idea, but a bit slow to get to the point.

Scooby Doo  Not the best of movies, but fans of the cartoons will appreciate it.

Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones  It gets one star cause it's Star Wars, and another cause it has great effects. Not much reason for it to get any more stars.

Spider-man Funny, exciting, sweet, interesting. Great in its genre.

Crossroads  *Spoiler Alert!!* Better than one would expect from Ms. Spears. 

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