A pie made with a single octopus should not be called an octopie
a plural ambiguity that in the I of pie could see a lie
would make one think of octopus in battered encrustation
and multiple profusion pied within a single solitary pie
however if the pie was baked with several octopi
then pi being a constant would perforce increase
the pie's diameter as function of the octopi now therein pied
and such a pie could then not lie if it was much larger than an octopus
unless a single octopus's bulk exceeded several octopi

With recipes referring to pied octopi arises further complication
this causing some with sighing cry to refer to illustrations
and with your eye a lie could be detected if it was blandly stated
that pied octopi were utilised when the picture shows them unpied
thus a pining sigh after trying a pie pied with unpied octopi
could by the unkind be construed as rather a perverted lie
and being rather kind myself I would not in the first place
raise a trace of conversation playing on placing plaice
in such a pie - a wry and unsubstantiated stance
towards substandard substance could well perplex and stymie
but inclined towards vegetarianism please, do no longer pie me
I wouldn't buy pied octopi pie even if it cried "Buy Me!"

Tying a fly as bait for a try at the capture of capable octopi
Is about as much use as the subtle abuse in the tying of flus for an octopus
I aver they would fly rather than let your fly try
to seduce them with such a sly stratagem
it takes rather more than common fisherman's lore
to have a really good chance to get at 'em
and quite apart from all that
this is all rather old hat
when most of my friends would strongly agree
that the preferred pronunciation is definitely
not something that rhymes with pied pipers or pies
sighs, flies and cries or little white lies
instead you should see with a mind truly free
that they prefer to be addressed and most certainly not dressed
as true and blue-blooded octopi

copyright © FVO 1999